What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the measurement of a person痴 estimation of their own worth. The most familiar labels on the scale of self-esteem are high self-esteem and low self-esteem.

If you have high self-esteem, it implies that you have confidence in your own nature and abilities. To have low self-esteem implies the opposite.

People with low self-esteem tend to doubt their abilities, and are often hindered by their own low opinion of themselves. However, it is possible to raise your level ofself-esteem. When your self-esteem is higher, this makes it easier to deal with negative situations and evento be happy.

Building self-esteem

There are a number of ways in which we can raise low self-esteem, these include:

  1. Talking positively to yourself.
  2. Acknowledging your strengths.
  3. Changing behavior you are not happy with.
  4. Treating yourself.
  5. Looking after your health.
  6. Taking time out for yourself.
  7. Taking time to look at the world around you.
  8. Seeking help and support when you need it.
  9. Getting to know yourself.


  1. Face our fears.
  2. Learn from mistakes but don稚 assume that you will fail again.
  3. Know what you want.
  4. Reward yourself for achieving something.
  5. Make your own mind up about people.
  6. If you fail learn from it and try something else.
  7. Focus on your strengths and successes and on your positive qualities.
  8. Don稚 compare yourself with others.
  9. Avoid putting yourself down.
  10. Accept compliments.
  11. Approach challenges.
  12. Get involved with activities you enjoy.
  13. Associate with confident people.
  14. Positive feelings about your self can produce better relationships.

Personal Strengths

Below is a suggested list of personal strengths, highlight any that you think you have. Ask someone else to go over the list and tell you which ones they think you have too. Sometimes other people see more of our strengths than we do

I am:

Compassionate A good listener Helpful Funny
Responsible A good friend Trusting Happy
Affectionate Organised Friendly Caring
Straightforward Sensitive Honest Calm
Attractive Punctual Loving Loyal
Considerate A team player Creative Efficient

I have:

A positive attitude Patience A sense of humour
Flexibility Many friends Common sense


Never give up Am physically fit

I can:

Communicate well Make a difference

Negatives To Positives

PICs are Positive Inner Comments that you tell yourself every day and NICs are Negative Inner Comments you tell yourself. Negative comments are not good for your self-esteem. To help you with lifting your self-esteem, when you think of a negative comment, try to think of the positives to cancel the negatives out. Now when you are in a situation where you use a negative comment, try telling yourself the positive of the negative.

NICs Negative Inner Comments PICs Positive Inner Comments
I'm stupid
I'm unwanted
I知 unloved, or unlovable
I知 boring
I知 in the way
I知 annoying
I知 unattractive
I知 different
I can稚 do it
I知 lazy
I知 bound to get things wrong
I知 not respected
I知 feeble
I知 hopeless

Some situations that are likely to activate your NICs

  1. If you forget someone痴 name.
  2. If you forget where you put your keys.
  3. If you fail an exam/test.
  4. If you can稚 understand a television programme.
  5. If you don稚 組et the joke.
  6. If someone criticizes your work.
  7. If you池e on a course and find the work too difficult.
  8. If you miss a train or bus.
  9. Boyfriend/girlfriend has to go way on business.
  10. Boyfriend/girlfriend, boss, colleagues, or friends are angry with you.
  11. If a relationship ends.
  12. If you smile at someone and they don稚 smile back.
  13. If you send a present to a friend and they forget to thank you.
  14. If a family member or friend doesn稚 phone when they said they would.

Now try to think about what situations activate your NICs and try not to think about your NIC痴 and switch them to PIC痴 instead.

Some key points

  1. Recognise that you have a Negative Inner Commentary that disturbs and upsets you.
  2. Keep a note of situations that particularly upset you so that you can recognise them more easily and deal with them.
  3. Try to work out from these situations where your Negative Inner Commentary started.
  4. Look back at your life to see where your Negative Inner commentary originally started.
  5. Challenge the truth of the distressing thoughts.
  6. Acknowledge that those thoughts and feelings evolved into your Negative Inner commentary.
  7. Challenge the truth of your Negative Inner commentary when you池e in situations that trigger it off.
  8. Work at replacing the Negative Inner commentary with a Positive Inner Commentary.

Positive Affirmations

1 I have been told that I have pretty

2 The one person that always makes me feel good about myself is

3 What I really enjoy the most is

4 People often compliment me about

5 My friends would tell you I have a great

6 My favorite place is

7 People say I am a good

8 I like myself because

9 I consider myself a good

10 I have a good sense of

11 I look good when

12 I am most happy when

13 My goals for the future is

14 I like the way I feel about myself when I

15 I have a natural talent for

16 One of the many positive traits I have is

17 I feel good about

18 I do

very well

19 The two things I do best are

20 My friends respect me because I always

21 I know what I will be successful in life because I will